Published: November 10, 2008 11:31 am            

Larry Penkava – November 5, 1008

Was Mighty Mouse genetically manipulated?

Mighty Mouse may have been genetically manipulated to perform his courageous deeds. In fact, it’s likely he was highly enriched with calcium/calmodulin protein kinase II.

The manly mouse with the operatic voice may have been overly endowed with an enzyme researchers have recently discovered can erase frightening memories. Thus, the valorly pursuits against overwhelming enemies – such as the family cat – could have been the result of Mighty Mouse’s brain under the influence.

Scientists at the Medical College of Georgia and East China Normal University have worked with mice to associate certain cues with fearful consequences.

But when they genetically manipulated the mouse brain to overproduce the aforementioned enzyme – voila – the cheese-loving rodents showed no fear.

With the new information, researchers believe it’s possible to use the same enzyme, also present in human brains, to treat psychological disorders such as post-traumatic stress syndrome.

But why stop with fearful memories? Why not take all unpleasant thoughts out of circulation?

Consider this: You could one day be able to erase memories of those less-than-stellar events in life that continue to raise their ugly heads at the most inopportune times.

Remember the senior prom when you walked out of the men’s room nattily dressed in tux, tails and toilet paper stuck to your shiny black shoe?

Remember the guffaws and catcalls that resulted in an early departure from one of high school’s most memorable events?

Then you’re a prime candidate for brainwashing with calcium/calmodulin protein kinase II.

Or maybe you’d prefer to manipulate your spouse’s brain. How about removing the memory of things you said during a lively disagreement – words that slipped out before you could stop them and that didn’t really remotely express your true feelings.

Yeah, the words that sent you to the doghouse then and are routinely regurgitated from time to time to keep you from getting the upper hand in an argument. Wouldn’t it be nice to permanently erase those words from your spouse’s memory bank?

It’d be neat to manipulate your kid’s recollection of promises you’ve made. Pledges given in a moment of weakness are sure to be thrown back at you at some point.

“But Dad, you promised!”

Apply a little calcium/calmodulin protein kinase II and the problem isa solved.

The memory depressor could also come in handy for those little fears we all have. Maybe you have a fear of flying or a trepidation of public speaking. Sprinkle on some enzyme and your worries are over.

And I know some folks who could use a little fear erasure concerning our mouse friends. Instead of “Eeek!” they’d be saying, “A-yul, ain’t they cute.”

Personally, I could use the fear eraser for what sends most columnists into a panic mode – writer’s block.

There must be an enzyme for that.



Larry Penkava, who has written Now and Then since 1994, can’t think of another thing to write.

        

• Click to discuss this story with other readers on our forums.